I have gotten out of a bed 365 times a year for 37 years
I have gotten out of a bed 365 times a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And no abs to show for it…
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Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them...
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Dear God, my prayer for the next year is a FAT bank account and
Dear God, my prayer for the next year is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don’t mix it up like you did...
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A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, „Doc, I’m just not...